SPONTANEITY

by Thursday, October 26, 2017

The other week I got a message from an old friend Dian Pelangi (most of you will know her, a very successful Indonesian Fashion designer.) She very kindly invited me to her show in Paris in order to show my support and have a general catch up! It’s been a few years since we saw each other last! There was about four days left for the show and usually this is too short notice for me to travel what with having a toddler and meetings booked weeks in advance. Originally I was busy the day she would showcase so I politely declined, but was pretty gutted to miss it. Thankfully a few days later my original plans were cancelled and I’m not sure what I’d been eating but I decided to message Dian there and then to let her know that I could now make it! Bear in mind this was literally the night before her show, and for me that’s pretty last minute! I was only planning on going for a quick day trip on the eurostar and decided to bring my younger bro Hassan to keep me company, he’s a pretty LIT lad. LOL

Anyway we ended up missing our original train so decided spontaneously to stay the night in Paris, with no clothes or fresh undies never mind a toothbrush for the next day! Usually the thought of that is an absolute horror to me but for some reason, I literally thought nothing of it. I say ‘some reason’ but I know the reason of course. It’s because I wasn’t taking Hana (my two year old) with me! She was fine at home with her dad and taking care of just myself for one night seemed a breeze, as opposed to taking care of both of us! Suddenly all the usual dilemmas seemed actually pretty trivial when you don’t have to do them with your kid! Whilst becoming a parent has sent me over the edge with paranoia, made me fuss over anything and staying the night anywhere would mean at least a small suitcase filled with everything we need, it’s also left me quite spontaneous when it comes to doing things without my kid. And actually I’ve realised that sometimes it better to just let go of the little things and deal with whatever happens there and then rather than plan every little detail to a T. The fun will still be had! Any other mamas out there notice this change of attitude since becoming a mum?

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  • Shirrin
    October 27, 2017

    yep once you become a mother you realise that you can do so much more and dont fret about stuff that would have been too hard or impossible before.

    We don’t realise our threshold for how much we can do and bear until motherhood. Its a true blessing.

    • a sister
      October 30, 2017

      do you know where to send an email for advice please let me know here

  • Fai
    October 27, 2017

    I agree…. I traveled without my toddler last year and when the flight was delayed I didnt care.
    When they lost my luggage I cared just a bit less…
    I got sick and took nyquil…something I have yet since to take because….well you know the drill when your a mum.
    Any medicine that may make you drowsy is a huge No no.

    Think us Mums need more me time !

  • Dabrina
    October 27, 2017

    Hi beauty.
    when you become a mother, you feel a certain amount of stress, but you also have a lot of strength to face the world and protect your child.
    we go through moments of solitude it’s true but we always recover and that’s the main thing.
    taking time for yourself allows a better performance because yes as a mom we are super performers. and do not let anyone tell you the opposite! paradise is under our feet and it proves the importance we have in this life!
    good luck my dear

    Sabrina mother of 4 children who follows since paris!
    kisses to you

  • Mumtaz
    October 27, 2017

    becoming a mother gives you super-powers of making impossible possible! we do all we can for our kids and foregt abouts ourselves.. well done to Dina for getting a ME time which is very impossible after having kids.. life changes completely but you’d never ask for it to be any other way.

  • Hannah
    October 27, 2017

    Definitely! We have two boys, 8 and 3, our eldest has a complex genetic disorder so for the last 8 years spontaneity has gone right out the window as with all the extra bits to do and medical schedule to work around it’s all but impossible. Paranoia and anxiety have shot up about things that weren’t even a thing before, but then it’s also easier to just crack on and enjoy things as they are in other situations and let go of the little details that aren’t all that vital after all. After having our second my confidence came back quite a bit too so now I feel more able to try and be flexible with things as much as I can around our day to day routine and that does feel really, really good.

  • Jamila
    October 27, 2017

    I became a mom 3 months ago. Hamdulilah Not only has going to a simple trip to the store can turn into a mission, my views on everything have changed.
    Example: someone obnoxiously blew there horn one night on a car journey and it woke my daughter up and she cried the rest of the way home and another time an inconsiderate person blew their horn at midnight outside our apartment. Now I feel like I could never blow my horn just incase a baby is sleeping and a poor, exhausted mom will have to wake up to a screaming baby. This is just one example of how my thinking has completely changed on things I never gave a second thought or even noticed before motherhood. (When I started driving I loved to blow my horn. may Allah forgive me if I woke up any babies)

  • Ashia
    October 28, 2017

    So true and what’s amazing is you keep it so real. My little one is 2 and a half and there are days I literally am like uhhh did I brush my teeth. Paranoia is so normal in motherhood and we underestimate how much it affects us.

    You make motherhood look a breeze Dina. Thanks for always keeping it real x

  • Spontaneous
    October 29, 2017

    I think you’ve actually nailed spontaneity when you do spontaneous things with, rather than only without , the toddler ! Mum of three here – you’ll soon master this on subsequent children Dina

  • Nisa
    October 29, 2017

    Omg yess! This post completely resonates with me!! Xx

  • Mariam
    October 29, 2017

    It’s true I have a son who’s just turned 3 and a daughter 1 year 8months and I just need that support I need for their to be someone who will look after them even for few hours it’s so hard tbh may Allah make it easy for everyone In shaa allah and for the women who work people make their life so difficult it’s not as if they don’t feel guilty leaving their child it’s so hard and people are always there to judge.

  • Hassana
    October 29, 2017

    I watched this and wondered what you meant to be spontaneous without a kid, now I get it, bull’s eye, Dina!
    I’ve always regretted how much time I’ve wasted before turning a mom because now you just don’t seem to have any… We grow in leaps and bounds as moms I think, some superhuman strength and instincts come with the package…
    I found you while I was having my baby blues and to this day have been quite inspired by how badass you are… Thank you for existing!❤

  • Mary
    October 29, 2017

    Assalamu’alaykum Dina
    Love your posts Allahummabariklakum they so real!
    Keep up all your great work always and those days where you feel it’s all needing a break just remind yourself of where it started and where it’s now going and how you e literally changed minds and perceptions for people everywhere
    XxX

  • Andrea Brito
    October 31, 2017

    I really enjoyed reading this! It was like talking to a friend. I don’t have a kid yet, but I can imagine how you felt. Spontaneity is always good but it’s hard to have it when you have a kid to take care of… so yeah, you should totally enjoy these little times off.

    xx
    Andrea
    http://www.simplicityinvogue.com

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